


A tale of fire and water

by Cherry_Roger



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack, Episode of Ignis spoilers, aka for both trailers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 20:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry_Roger/pseuds/Cherry_Roger
Summary: Ardyn has a grand plan, a MT has none and Ignis got caught up in the grand scheme of things.





	A tale of fire and water

**Author's Note:**

> I wondered why Ignis still had his hair perfectly in place during one trailer but in the next his hair is totally tousled. Which resulted in this little crack story.

The stone underneath Ignis was cold and wet. In-between the buzzing sound of the Magiteks he could hear heavy steps creeping closer.  
His eyes met the gaze of the man responsible for his current misery, for everybody’s misery. Ardyn looked down on him, watching him with a smirk on his face. Ignis mustered all his dignity together and stared back, gritting his teeth.

“I'm curious...”, Ardyn started to speak. “The skies have been pouring down all this rain for quite some time, yet...”  
He stopped talking and lowered down next to Ignis who was still pressed to the ground by Magiteks. Ardyn made a quick move with his hand and one soldier forcefully pulled Ignis' head up. Ardyn studied the man in front of him for a while while humming a strangely familiar tune.  
“Your hair looks as neat as always. What is your secret?”  
“Excuse me?”  
Ignis was baffled, although years of training hid most of his emotions.

Ardyn ignored him and continued with his strange ramblings.  
“I've been searching for reliable care products for years, dear Ignis. Good insomnian products were hard to come by during the last decades.”  
“You sure don't give away the impression that you care much about body hygiene, dear chancellor”, Ignis thought, although thanks to years of diplomatic training, he kept those thoughts to himself.

“Your perfectly groomed hair doesn’t fit this scenery, don't you agree?”  
Ardyn suddenly pulled a shampoo bottle out of the depths of his mantle.  
“I hope it's enough to get all of this hair gel out of your hair.”  
Ignis was mortified. Even years of training couldn’t hide his disgust any longer.  
Ardyn threw the bottle at one of the nearby Magiteks.  
“Soldier, you know your duty.”, Ardyn instructed him in his usual playful manner. The MT however _didn't seem to know his duty._ He tilted his head to the side as if he was confused. Ignis shot a glance at the poor creature first, then he looked back to Ardyn while raising his left eyebrow. In the meantime, the Magitek tried to point the foreign object against Ignis' temple as if it was a gun.  
Nothing else happened.  
Slowly, the Magitek pulled the bottle away and held it right in front of his face mask. The whole scenario looked like the Magitek searched for an user's instructions on the back. For a split second, Ignis wondered if the imperial soldiers were actually able to read.

“You need to open the bottle first.”, Ardyn said in a very annoyed voice and Ignis mentally slapped his hand against his front. Physically he was still restrained and he wondered if he should be grateful for the cold, mechanical hands which stopped him from physically beating himself over this embarrassment.  
The Magitek didn't even attempt to open the lid. Instead he crushed the bottle with his bare hand and the liquid inside flew everywhere. Most landed on the culprit himself, some on Ardyn's hat and only a few drips managed to find their way on Ignis' head.  
Ignis could have sworn that for a few seconds, Ardyn's eyes went yellow and a faint black markings appeared on his face. Then the old man sighed and shook his head.  
“Well, well, well...”  
Ardyn rose his hand and put it on Ignis head. Then he started to ruffle his hair as if he was a little child or worse, a tame chocobo.The few drops were unfortunately enough to wash away most of the gel that kept his hair in place. Ignis shot venom out of his eyes when the first wet streaks fell right in his face.  
“There, perfect.”, Ardyn announced and finally removed his hand. He stood up, waved at Ignis and then he slowly moved away.  
“I can't wait until you see the rest of my little play I prepared for you. Release him.”

About half an hour later, Ignis was surrounded by imperial soldiers again. This time, he stood back to back with Ravus.  
“I need to apologize.”  
“For fighting alongside the Empire?”, Ignis asked him while keeping an eye on their enemies.  
“Yes and no. I want to apologize for borrowing Ardyn a bottle of shampoo without questioning his intentions.”  
Ignis sighed.  
Loudly.


End file.
